Fitness Helped Me Find Happiness | Episode 130: Angie the Expert
Being on your fitness journey can feel extremely overwhelming especially if you don’t know where to start, you’ve tried everything and it’s been unsuccessful and you just aren’t happy in your body.
In this episode of the Carrying Connected Conversations podcast, Ang is sharing her experiences of those breakdown moments when she didn’t love her body and she was completely frustrated after doing all the physical work to look better and she still felt like crap. Co-host Syd brings forward some great questions to better understand Ang’s fitness journey and how it is actually tied to her personal development journey. Ang is sharing her top two realizations that she believes every woman needs to learn in order to find happiness on their fitness journey.
Listen to the episode to hear how Ang became an expert as a fitness journey, and how she not only helps her clients gain the results they desire, she leads them to feeling happy and fulfilled on the journey.
You can continue reading about the conversation Syd & Ang had on the podcast through the transcript below.
Syd: Hello and welcome back to another episode of Carrying Connected Conversations. This is Sydney and today’s episode is going to be all about Ang and her expertise as a fitness instructor, nutrition guide, self love embodiment coach, there are so many things that Ang is an expert at. It really is about loving your body, taking care of your body and everything that is combined in that. In today’s episode specifically, Ang is wanting to share some of her journey in what brought her to being an expert in her area of expertise. I am really excited to jump into this conversation so we can hear the story as to why Ang became a fitness coach and why she wants to help women to love their bodies. That gives you a brief overview of what we are talking about today.
Before we jump in, let me introduce my co-host. Ang, how are you doing today?
Ang: Hey hey hey! I am doing so well. I am so excited to be chatting about this topic because it really is all about my experience into where I am now and how I also help women based off of everything that I’ve learnt and experienced.
Syd: Beautiful! I love this so much. We are going to jump right in. I’ve got a few questions that I have for you, like I always do. Really from this I want to understand your story and what brought you to becoming a fitness coach and wanting to help other women. My first question for you is, if you experienced a breakdown moment in your fitness journey, I think we all experience breakdown moments in a lot of different areas. So, if you did in your fitness journey, what were you doing physically that got you into that breakdown moment? And how did it affect you?
Ang: Totally. Now I want some clarification, mainly for our listeners. What do you mean by breakdown in my fitness journey?
Syd: Ya, breakdown is the moment where everything falls on top of you. You feel like you are in the quicksand of life. For me a breakdown is when I am crying and laying on the floor and I wish that life was different. An emotional breakdown, a mental breakdown, or a physical breakdown of complete exhaustion. What did that look like for you in your fitness journey? What were you doing? Explain the story of what got you there or what it looked like.
Ang: Totally. I’m glad I asked that because I have two breakdown moments. Funnily enough they relate to each other. I will chat about the first one. My first breakdown moment that really got me into fitness in the first place is after high school. This is when all extra curricular activities stopped, you stop hanging around with your sports friends and I got into the phase where if I needed fitness in my life I had to create it and I didn’t know what that looked like for myself. At that time, I felt very overweight. It was the heaviest I had ever been because I had always been super active previously. I got very down on myself, I became very negatively focused on my image. All I wanted to do was look differently. I wanted to lose weight, get rid of all the excess fat on my body that didn’t make me feel good. That is when I decided to get into, and I became introduced to bodybuilding.
This is where my second breakdown moment happened. Here I am coming out of wanting to feel better about myself by looking better, it means I got into bodybuilding because I wanted to look better. I was so fixated on looking a completely different way then what I look like right now. I became literally lost in it all. I got out of the competitions and I hit my all time low. I felt like I could no longer seek happiness because everything I had done up to that point, which put it into perspective in years, it was 2013 to 2019. That is quite a chunk of time for me to be focusing on how I need to be looking. That breakdown moment really was when I realized the things I was doing physically to my body, eating a certain way, training a certain way, sleeping a certain way because it’s also something to worry about. All the things I was doing to my body I can see from a physical standpoint losing weight, gaining weight and everything in between. That was a very difficult moment for me because I felt like no matter what I did, even though it was to train to look a certain way, wasn’t fulfilling enough for me. I felt out of my body, like I couldn’t be happy no matter what I did. Again this was the intention I carried going into it, to look a better way. Here I am looking better, or I should say a different way, and I am still not feeling fulfilled.
Syd: So interesting and I think that really explains a breakdown very beautifully. We have something that happens where we feel so low in whatever aspect of our life, and then we realize “I don’t feel fulfilled”. It’s that recognition that everything you’ve been doing to get to a certain space isn’t working, or maybe it looks like it’s working but, ultimately you don’t feel better.
I think we’ve talked about this on an episode before that everything we desire in life is truly because we desire to feel a certain way. Whether you desire money, to lose weight, to be connected to the Universe or manifest all your desires, whatever it is is because you want to feel something. For you, that breakdown moment of recognizing “man, all this work I am putting in is actually not leading me to feeling fulfilled”. DOes that make sense?
Ang: 100% because I was so focused on filling my external world that I clearly had not even touched at all what was going on inside of me, which the conversation will lead to that point. What I am trying to get at is that the breakdown for me was so heavily focused on how I perceived myself from a physical standpoint that it made me do things and think things that looking back now, I don’t want to say I regret it. I am very thankful I did and thought the things I did, but it helps me to understand my journey and where I am going. I ended up seeking a journey more than a destination because I had got there so now what.
Syd: Interesting. I think it’s really good that what you are saying is that you aren’t regretting those moments or thoughts because they are what led you to where you are today. You kind of teased it when you said the conversation will guide us there and I want the conversation to guide us there right now. You talked about how it was this external perception and you hadn’t realized what was going on internally. As you and I know, and maybe the listener knows as well, this is your personal development journey, the internal.
In having that breakdown moment in your fitness journey, when did you experience the breakthrough? With every breakdown there is a breakthrough. When was it that you experienced the breakthrough of realizing your fitness journey is actually connected to your personal development journey?
Ang: Oh man!! Whew! Be prepared. This is where all the fireworks start happening because as you said a breakthrough happens after a breakdown. Well my breakdown bled into me not feeling happy, but it also bled into the things that were going on in my life. This is well before we started the podcast, but we have talked about it and it was when I lost my cat. That was when everything started feeling like it wasn’t falling into place. I was in a position where I had a full time job being a head coach in a training facility and I absolutely loved it, but again it started becoming detrimental to my health. I was again focused on this external image.
In the midst of all of this there was a move that needed to be made. This is when I decided that I was going to start an online business because when I move I can’t bring the clientele I was just helping with for the past year and a half in person at this facility. I can’t bring them with me, but what I can bring is the internet. This is when I started to dive into how to create an online business, an online personal training business and whatever that looks like.
This is when, without me even realizing it, I started my personal development journey. The breakthrough was happening as I was starting to learn how to integrate what I do in person, online. There were so many shifts that were taking place in the whole time frame where I realized, all these shifts that were happening had nothing to do with my external world. They all had to do with me and how I felt. As soon as I found that purpose, which again was me starting my business, so I can help women specifically get to where they are trying to go. I realized it’s not an end destination, it’s a journey. So if we can learn how to fall in love with the process and the journey itself, it doesn’t matter at any point what we look like because we are always going to feel good internally.
Again, I didn’t know any of this until I became super consumed in my personal development journey, which was me building my online business. So that really was my breakthrough moment.
Syd: It’s interesting too that you say that because I look on my journey in starting my business as a Spiritual Mentor and I would say the same for myself. When I started my journey as a Spiritual Mentor came from a space of wanting to help people and as a began my business, I was working with a mentor at the time. This is when I started to dive deeper into my personal development and I took my spiritual journey even deeper. I went through a lot of healing and growth which I think maybe there is a connection there. If we aren't already on our personal development and we are starting a business or becoming a coach, mentor or guide in some way, that’s when the Universe says “okay this is amazing, you’re creating a beautiful space to help people and at the same time, you need to help yourself”, which is personal development.
In getting to this space in your business in being a fitness coach, taking it online, working with women and having your personal development where you are working on yourself and your internal mindset, your emotions etc. that comes with personal development. What are some of the main realizations you’ve had that you think are important for yourself and for everyone, the people you coach and train with?
Ang: Oh wow! So many. The first one that really sticks out for me is my happiness. I thought for so long, because I was in a long term relationship I easily became lost in myself with the other individual. I put their needs, and emotions always above my own, without me realizing it until further reflection. For me and the happiness, I always felt like I couldn’t be happy until my significant other was happy or they had to make me happy. When all I had to do was find purpose and intention for myself in order to see, “oh I am happy, I just forget to tap into the happiness of it all”. It’s not like happiness comes from something, happiness is always within. This is when I realized, if that part of me is inside of me, then what else is there inside of me that I can then showcase out to the world. I can portray it from an internal reflection. My emotions for sure were a big one and that is when I found out that I am an emotional authority and I got into human design and I thought “okay this makes so much sense”. There was one other thing, but can you remind me of the question.
Syd: What are the main realizations you had through this journey of tying fitness to personal development and you think they are important?
Ang: My emotions and understanding what they meant and that they are mine. I get to create them or I get to choose to keep them. Also with fitness specifically, it was that me training all these specific ways and all these different ways, was never about looking a certain way. It was always about me feeling good. That was BOOM, the tip of the iceberg. I always thought that by losing weight I would look better and feel better. In reality, I got to that point. I went from such a heavy weight to such a lighter weight, we are talking 40 or 50 pounds lighter here. I got to that point, but it was never about me looking that way, it was about me feeling good. No matter how low the weight went, even though my external world reflected “oh you look so good”, when I felt like shit. Why would you tell me that I look great when I feel like absolute garbage? I realized my personal training and how I brought myself physically into a gym it never had to do with what I looked like, it always had to do with how I felt. I wanted to feel good, I wanted to feel stronger, I wanted to feel powerful. I wanted to feel as if no matter what I thought “damn I got this”. I wanted to feel as if a car rolled onto me so I could lift it off. Okay, probably not hahaha, but that is when adrenaline kicks in. I wanted to feel good, but I also understood what my emotions meant. It never defined me, it just meant that I had emotions. Those were my two big breakthrough moments that I’ve had personally for myself when I started this online business.
Syd: Ya! I think that really shows that it is what has created you into the coach you are today. Ultimately you are saying that it is about how you feel, your fitness journey and life in general is about how you feel and how you desire to feel. Like you said, happiness is within you. So if happiness is within you, what else is within you? Well, happiness is a feeling. Being able to combine the fitness journey you are on and the physical work you are putting into your body, whether it’s how you are eating, training or sleeping, it’s about desiring to feel a certain way. Through emotional intelligence you know you can guide yourself to feel a certain way at any given moment. This is a question, not just a statement. As an expert you are able to combine both, your fitness journey and how you take care of your body, with the emotional wellness of how you are feeling on a regular basis. It sounds like that’s what sets you apart from just an average fitness trainer.
Ang: Oh absolutely. I think when I made that realization for myself it’s what really helped me uncover my gift. I always knew, deep down inside, it’s something I always said to myself from the beginning of my business, I never want a woman to go through what I went through. At the time I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew it. I felt like shit because of the way I looked, when in reality all I had to do was change how I perceived how I looked, then all of a sudden I didn’t feel like shit. It’s not to say that fitness didn’t need to be there, I think it’s a huge reason that helped me to get to where I am going. I changed the way I perceived fitness in order to then help women to also realize, it’s not about losing 10-15 pounds, it’s about focusing on what you need to do to feel good. If this means you need to create a baseline for yourself, focus on the food you are eating, or how many hours of sleep you are getting in a day, then that is where the focus needs to lie. I have 100% incorporated my personal growth journey into what I offer for women. It’s understanding the journey and why you are wanting to get to a certain point, instead of needing and having to get to a certain point. For women, it’s usually the weight loss goal, needing to lose 10 pounds.
Syd: That makes so much sense. It really teaches you self love on the journey then, like you said earlier, rather than getting to the end destination. If you aren’t already loving yourself then you aren’t going to get to the end destination and love yourself. Exactly as you are explaining from your own experience. I love the concept of tying the two together, marrying the fitness journey and personal development.
There is so much more that we could dive into and I’d love to ask you so many more questions, but at the same time this is why we have your expert episodes once a month to dive deeper into these questions. As we wrap up today’s conversation, is there anything else you want to share today?
Ang: So much, but how can you condense this super quick. I think in reality to tie back in the expertise of it all, through my own personal journey, living through not being a personal trainer, not being a fitness instructor, not being a nutrition advocate, and all of those other things that don’t make me who I am, but are part of who I am. My journey is the other piece to it all, so I think it’s an important reminder that if you are someone that is struggling in your fitness journey or personal development journey, I think from personal experience and my legitimate knowledge in this field, is that it’s important to find someone that has both qualities that you are trying to look for. You want someone who has the answers, but you also want someone who has the experience. If you have someone that just has the answers, it’s going to be a lot harder to relate to that individual to get the answers you are needing. They can’t relate to your experience. If you are looking for someone that has had a similar experience as you, that is often the best way to go then only the knowledge and piece of paper that they can help you.
I think what I am trying to share is that it’s important to know who you are looking for when you are trying to get answers. Whatever that looks like to you. The experience part of it is what shaped them into who they are and it made them stronger and more solidified in why they want to help people in that field. It’ll be more rewarding in getting the answers from the individual that has the same or a similar life experience. It will be easier for you to see them in you, but also to see themself for them.
Syd: Definitely. Definitely. When someone has their own experiences they are able to carry empathy a lot more, which makes that connection so much stronger, so you are more able to trust your coach and the person that carries the expertise. It’s not about the answers, because sometimes the answers don’t actually resonate with your lifestyle. For you Ang, and your own experiences, you can have empathy for your clients because you have the answer, but you can also look at your clients lifestyle. You can see the challenge they are currently facing to manipulate the answer in a way that works for them and their life. It’s not just here is the answer now go and run with it. It’s about implementing it and making sure it actually works for them.
Ang: The integration! Yes I love it.
Syd: Yes! I want to thank you so much Ang for giving the background of your story and for sharing the breakdown that led you to the work you do and how you support women in their fitness journey. It’s interesting to see how it led you to your personal development journey which allowed you to grow through your own experiences and now it gives you an edge to being the fitness coach you are. Thank you again for being here and for sharing that and I look forward to diving deeper into it in our next expert call with you.
Ang: Yay! And I am just as excited for the next expert call because a little birdy here told me it’s about Sydney next week. I am so excited to hear about your expertise.
Syd: Yes exactly! It’s going to be so much fun. We are coming back next week to talk about grounding yourself and what that means as a spiritual practice. Stay tuned.
As we close out today’s episode, if you really enjoyed Ang’s story and you connected with some of her breakdowns of coming away from the active lifestyle, not liking your body because of the weight you’ve gained, and trying to lose the weight but not finding fulfillment. If that story resonates with you then leave us a 5 star rating. Definitely leave a review if you feel called, but leave a 5 star rating if it connected with you. As always, all of Ang’s contact info is in the description if you want to connect with her to work with her.
That is all we have for you today, so we are going to send you so much love and light. We will be chatting at you next week. Bye everyone!
Ang: Bye!