6 Steps to Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being self-aware in order to enjoy the present. Often in life we live for the future, meaning we go to work with the expectation that we will make money in order to pay for that vacation we want, or to save enough to purchase a house, or to cover our current expenses and one day we might be able to live out our dreams. But what about the present moment? Why can’t we enjoy life as it happens?
I’ve found that sometimes our emotions & feelings hold us back from enjoying the now. Practicing mindfulness means you are able to process your emotions & feelings, accept where you are at in life, disconnect from the stress that surrounds you, and experience the moment as it happens. Maybe you are now thinking “wow, that’s a lot for just one simple word”, and yes it is. Mindfulness encompasses a broad spectrum of mental wellness, but it is so important in staying true to your authentic self and living in the present moment.
In order to be mindful in life we need to be open to recognizing how we process the things that happen in our lives in order to release what we cannot control and accept the choices we’ve made, which will then allow us to live in the present stepping away from the worry we hold around the past or fear of the future.
Use these 6 steps in your day-to-day life to become more mindful and strengthen your ability to be self-aware.
1 Reflect
What is occupying your mind in this moment? When you are moving through your day-to-day tasks what fills your head space?
Are you worrying about all the tasks you have to complete before the days end? Are you stressed about that presentation you have to do at work later this week? Are you worried about how your children will experience their school day? Are you filled with sadness as you reflect on your past?
The first step is about recognizing what current emotions & feelings are moving through you in this moment. It is time to reflect on the thoughts that are filling your mind.
2 Process
Now is the time to understand why these thoughts & feelings are occupying your headspace. Where are these emotions coming from? What has brought these emotions forward? Remember someone or something cannot MAKE you feel a certain way, your feelings are YOURS. It’s important to understand that no matter what someone or something does to bring these emotions forward your soul is trying to tell you something about yourself.
This is a great time to pull out your journal to really process the emotions you are experiencing. Write down what the emotions is, where you feel it, what triggers the emotion to come forward.
Use this time to process how you experience life, how you experience certain situations, who triggers those negative emotions within you, what situations cause you to experience stress, worry or fear.
Take the time to notice & become aware of how you are affected through those thoughts & emotions that are occupying your mind.
3 Change/Accept
By this step you should be more self-aware about how you are affected in life. You have already reflected on what is occupying your mind and then you processed how you experienced that situation, what the feelings were that came forward, and where you felt them within you.
Now is the time to allow yourself to move forward. Ask yourself what you can change so in the future you do not experience these emotions or thoughts again. Or ask yourself what you can change to remind yourself how to move forward in case these feelings come up again.
Remember, you cannot change another person, you can only change your mindset, your actions, your reactions, or your part in the situation.
How do you change your part in the situation you might wonder? Step up and choose to walk away, stand your ground and choose to share your opinion if it differs from someone else.
How do you change your mindset? Through reflecting & processing maybe you decided that you over-reacted so you know moving forward that you have the ability to influence your mindset on the situation.
How do you change your actions or reactions? This takes the most strength because you need to choose to grow & become a better person because of your experience. This means you are actively working to change yourself through the situation.
Finally, in this step you need to be willing to accept the outcome. After moving through the changes that needed to occur you now need to accept your position in the situation. This means that if you have chosen to change your actions or mindset you cannot hold anger or resentment towards the other person or situation. It’s time to accept that you have chosen to grow because of how you experienced the situation.
Accept your part in this phase because you want to become better and you can only do that with a positive mindset.
4 Release
Now that you have chosen to become better you can release the negativity that was occupying your mind. Let go of the fear or worry you were holding on to because it was holding you back. Allow yourself to recognize the growth you experienced and release the past with the feeling of acceptance.
This is the time for you to reflect on what no longer serves you. What were the patterns you chose to change? What was the situation you chose to walk away from? What was the mindset you chose to change?
Now release these old limiting beliefs and patterns that were holding you back. In order to release this needs to be a continual practice as releasing doesn’t happen in one day, but it happens over time.
By actively choosing to release you are moving forward. You can use meditations, affirmations, journalling, healing ceremonies or even invocations to help you release & let go.
5 Connect
Now that we have cleared the mind from what was previously occupying it we can connect to the present moment. How do you connect to the present moment?
You take time to use your senses to connect to what surrounds you in this moment. Truly see all that surrounds you, smell that scents that surround you, listen to the sounds that occupy the space, and connect to what you feel with your hands.
Maybe you are washing the dishes - what do you see in front of you? Are you looking out the window as you wash each dish? What can you smell? Does the soap have a certain scent? What do you hear? Do the bubbles of the soap make any noises? What do the clean dishes sound like as you stack them to dry? What do you feel? How does the water feel against your skin?
The idea of connecting to the present moment is the practice of strengthening your senses through recognition of all that you are experiencing through your eyes, ears, nose and touch. Doing this with simple tasks like washing the dishes means that your senses & experience of this moment will become stronger for moments in the future when we truly desire to be present.
Maybe you are having a family picnic and you want to enjoy every second with your children and in the past before you practiced mindfulness your thoughts would be preoccupied with that stress from work, fears of the future or worry from your past. Now through strengthening your senses & connection to the present moment your mind is clear and you are able to experience all that is happening as it happens.
6 Enjoy
The final step is truly enjoy the present as it happens. Fill yourself with peace as you connect to nature on your daily walk. Experience joy as you watch your children play with each other. Connect to love as you are surrounded by family at Thanksgiving dinner.
By experiencing each of these steps you are opening yourself up to enjoy each moment as it happens because you are choosing to step away from those thoughts & emotions that had taken control of your mind in the past.
You understand in this present moment that stressing about your to-do list will only rob you from enjoying this moment.
You have learnt that by focusing on the hurt someone else has caused you is only keeping you in a state of anger & resentment, holding you back from living your life.
You have recognized that by putting the blame on someone else for what you believe they made you feel has caused you to put the victim blanket over yourself, rather than stepping up and taking control of your life.
Through mindfulness we are able to become self-aware allowing ourselves to step up and grow in order to become better rather than holding onto the past and staying complacent in life happening to us.
Through mindfulness we are able to connect to joy and peace on a daily basis because we are choosing to experience the moment as it happens.
Through mindfulness we are stepping into the role of MAKER OF MY LIFE rather than holding ourselves as victims.
Mindfulness is a process, but the more we practice this process the easier it will become and the faster we will be at disconnecting from what no longer serves us and creating peace & joy in the moment.
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