New Routines New Insights | Episode 137: Check in with Ang
Reflection is one of the best tools to build self awareness on your personal growth journey.
In this episode of the Carrying Connected Conversations podcast, Ang is sharing a check in with where she is starting 2023 and what she is learning from 2022. Taking the time to reflect on all the new routines in her life, Ang wants to ensure that she doesn’t fall into old patterns that could lead her to burnout. While co-host Syd brings some great questions for reflection, Ang gains new insights on herself, her life and how a future version of herself would talk to her today.
Press play to gain an insight into how Ang has grown over the last year and what she is choosing to focus on throughout the next year.
You can continue reading about the conversation Syd & Ang had on the podcast through the transcript below.
Syd: Hello everyone! Welcome back to another episode of Carrying Connected Conversations. Excited to start us off, the beginning of a new month. So where do we start? A check in with Ang! I am ready to dive in and to hear about all the things that Ang experienced in 2022 and what she has learned from that and what she is choosing to carry with her in this year 2023.
Before we jump into the topic and hear from Ang, let me introduce my co-host! Ang, how are you doing?
Ang: Hey hey hey! I’m doing so well and I am so excited. We are chatting about how 2022 went down and how we want to implement living in 2023 and moving forward. Even in this past month in January, I still am and have been experiencing a lot of new things. I think this is a good time to really now reflect on the past because we are jumping into the second month of the year. It’s perfect timing for it all.
Syd: I love it! And you know me, being the spiritual mentor, I’m going to bring in the energy. It’s winter, we live in the Northern Hemisphere, and the winter energy is all about reflection. It’s about reflecting and gathering all the wisdom and the lessons you’ve moved through, everything you released in the fall and really taking the time to make sure what you are integrating into your life. Before we get ready for Spring where we plant the new seeds and rush ahead, what happened and what are we choosing to create.
Ang: Ya exactly!
Syd: I want to start us off right there. What are you reflecting on? What are the first things that come to your mind when you think back on 2022?
Ang: I think, I mean I can’t help it but obviously reflect on what I am currently experiencing right now.
Syd: Yup!
Ang: There have been a lot of new changes from the end of the year, November moving into December to the end of 2022. There were a lot of moving parts in January too. Now here we are and I need to reflect on this because I don’t know if I shared it on the podcast… no I did. I did. We had our bonus episode that came out in January, we did a rapid fire question in person which was super exciting. If you didn’t listen to that then check it out from last week, p.s. Episode 136. In that I was going through a move, I moved across the country. I’m getting, I had, now I still have, new jobs, and so many new routines. There is so much newness going on that I don’t want to get too swayed into the newness of it all that I forget where my intention lies in it all. The reason why I’m thinking about what’s currently going on in my life and how I am reflecting on that moving into the future is that old traits, and old patterns I had at my last job for 10 months. I personally think it was 10 months too long because it wasn’t the place I wanted to be in, it was all they had so I accepted it. Even though it’s not what I wanted, so I went against what I wanted. I made it through for those 10 months, but in those 10 months there was a lot of time where I pushed myself into over-exhaustion. I had covid in all of that, twice actually at that same job. I’m not blaming the job itself, it just goes to show when you put into perspective, that I did lead myself into burnout in that 10 month timeframe. Now going into 2023, keeping in mind that I have all these new things going on, new jobs, new positions, new routines, I don’t want to bring myself into burnout. I was catching myself recently thinking I might have too much on my plate and looking at what I want to keep and what I want to get rid of. Keeping in mind that obviously I need to pay my bills, we need to create an income for ourselves, but I have to remind myself that I don’t want to create income just to create income. Because what happens when I pay off debt, cool then there is no debt, now why are you working, right?! I am bringing in the busy-ness from working, paying off debt and also living expenses, all in a way that feels good for me. Now thinking back to those 10 months I let things go for a little bit too long, whereas now I am a month into this new journey and I am already reflecting.
For me what I am bringing into 2023 is a much sooner reflection then what I’ve ever done in the past because I don’t want it to go for another 10 months again with no change.
Syd: Oh I totally get that. I think it really drives home the concept of learning lessons. We’ve talked about this before, I know we’ve talked about it in person and I think we’ve talked about it on the podcast. It’s in learning lessons you don’t learn it once and then you’re good.
Ang: Yes yes!
Syd: It’s going to continue to pop up until you get to the space where you embody it. I almost see a lesson as you are gaining the information for the very first time, and then the next time the lesson pops up it’s a reminder of “hey, remember, you’ve already learned this” and that’s when we say, “oh ya I totally forgot”. The next time it pops up it’s about whether or not you are integrating it into your life. Maybe it doesn’t trigger you as much as the second time it came, then the next time it comes up you catch it before it’s even too far gone because you did learn it, you are embodying it. It sounds like that’s where you are at with this whole burnout.
One of the notes I wrote when you were talking about new routines and all this newness, something that I know happens for you and I can even reflect back into my own life where it’s happened for me. It’s the excitement of something new sweeps you off your feet.
Ang: Yes!
Syd: It’s very much that romanticizing of “yes this is exciting, this is new”, but if we are not fully conscious of what’s going on and how we are using our energy on a daily basis, and whatever else, then it can lead us into the space of being too far gone.
Ang: I agree. I definitely agree and I want to point out something because when we recorded some episodes back in December, when we were together Syd, there was a big Ah-Ha moment I was moving through. We chatted about it, and it was me owning up to my truth and me accepting my truth for what it is. What you said is so true. You want to romanticize all the new things and this is where I am definitely showing up differently because when I chose to go into these new opportunities I asked myself if I could handle it and if it was too much on my plate. Before I would just say yes yes yes yes to everything, and then I would say I had too much on my plate. Whereas when I was wanting to say yes this time I thought about why I was wanting to say yes. I like to snowboard, I like to teach, so that’s why I am going to be teaching at the mountain, okay yes I am going to do that. Am I wanting to work a few days or a couple days a week? I had to ask myself what that would look like, outside from being at the mountain because I am now in person coaching again, back into my fitness routine; which is what I wanted to do before I started the big corporate job, but instead I ended up getting into management. This is me thinking about getting into a new position, but asking myself whether I will have enough energy moving into it before I get to that burnout period.
Now we are a few weeks into these new routines and I am already noticing something. It’s funny, to paint things a little more clear here I took on three new jobs, this is the whole just of it. Plus I have my business, plus my social life, plus, plus, plus. The third job I took as a buffer and I intentionally took it as a buffer knowing I could leave that position whenever I needed to. It was more of a time filler if I needed it. The “needing” was more from an income standpoint, so I created myself a safety net. Where I am showing up differently is that I am acknowledging that I created it as a safety net without pushing myself three months into this third new position, knowing it’s a safety net but not really saying it out loud. Then finally realizing that I have too much on my plate. I am only a few weeks into this, so it’s very different but yes, that is what old Angie traits would’ve done. It’s very different because I’m deciding to look at things for what they are, rather than dismissing those negative thoughts that do come up when you create some sort of newness in your life. If that makes any sense.
Syd: Oh 100%. I think from what you are explaining it really brings me back to something that I’ve considered quite a lot lately is purpose and how purpose shows up in our life in different ways. You said earlier when you were first explaining your situation of the three jobs that yes you want to make money, that’s the purpose, you want to make money for these things, but you are also recognizing that it’s not the only purpose. You also want to enjoy what you are doing. I think that is key and I think that really shows the difference from your old position when you experienced burnout in the management position versus what you are doing now. I think one of the biggest reasons why you were led to burnout, correct me if I’m wrong, is because you were doing a job that didn’t give you purpose.
Ang: Ya!
Syd: You were making money to pay off debt to get yourself in a different financial position, and you were driving hard, but that wasn’t a strong enough purpose to excite you and to bring passion into your life, and creativity into your life. Whereas these three jobs, maybe one is the buffer, but the other two jobs you are so passionate about.
Ang: Yes!
Syd: You aren’t just passionate about making money, you are passionate about what you are doing on a daily basis. So you are bringing purpose into it which is allowing you to see when you are coming from pressure and pushing, which is where the burnout will come from.
Ang: That is so true because like you said, I am choosing these two positions because it gives me that passion and as soon as I got into that third buffer position, I’m thinking about how I am feeling frustrated. My not-self theme is frustration. If I can at least recognize that now, it’s going to be a lot easier for me to make decisions that are not only going to suit me now, but also suit future Angie. I am talking about future Angie as next week, and next month. Burnout can come whenever it wants to, but if we can at least prevent it from hitting us and sweeping us off our feet, and we can look at it from a proactive standpoint, which is exactly what I am doing based on the previous similar lessons I’ve learned. I am showing up very very differently from I ever had in the past.
Syd: I think that is the power of reflection. We are taking a moment to get really clear on what the patterns are that we’ve experienced, what guided us into those patterns, how are we showing up now, and what are we choosing to move forward with.
Ang: That is so true.
Syd: I have a question for you, and it’s kind of a two part question because you had just said, a future version of you whether it’s a week from now, and then you had said in the past. My question is, the first part, based on what we are talking about. If you in the past, maybe even you at that old job that felt forced to continue to stay in that job. What would she say at that moment?
Ang: Like to keep me there?
Syd: Ya, what was it that made you feel, maybe not safe, to step out of that? What was that past version of your thoughts that kept you in that state?
Ang: Let me answer that first before you say the next part because I don't want to confuse myself. Old Angie, being in that position, you are asking what kind of thoughts came to me that made me stay?
Syd: Ya. That kept you in that pattern. Because you are in a state now where you see that pattern and you are choosing to do something different.
Ang: Okay, so, I love this question. So many levels, I am like edge of my seat, let's go. What kept me in that position, well I had to think about why I was in that position in the first place. After my breakup, I think it was 8 months into my breakup. I was living with my parents in an old environment, so we are talking about old patterns coming up. Yes, it was the same job I held in previous years, but it was a different management position. Again, very very different, but it was something I didn’t want to do. But, I chose to do it because I chose that it was going to give me something to do. I did not choose that position in a place that was going to give me purpose, I chose it to fill my time. Now you are talking about what made me stay. What made me stay was I didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do in 2 months time, in 3 months time. I always had the idea at the start of 2022 that I was going to be moving out west. I thought it was going to be by the spring, because I had started this job in August, so I thought I would keep it until the spring. But I got involved in a new relationship and that kind of bled into things because I was so not willing to look at the truth of the situation in itself. I was not willing to see things for what they were, I was just wanting to romanticize my life. I was stuck in this romanticizing world where it was giving me something to do and I had someone to do things with, so I will just stay. Plus I didn’t know where I was wanting to go, so all those thoughts and energy were sticking there. It was this stagnant, stuck energy because I was not willing to look at things outside of what was wrong. I was not looking at it from a place of wanting to fix it because I was just wanting to heal from the long term breakup I went through. I was wanting to ground myself, I was wanting to feel comfortable, and I thought getting myself into a busy routine would bring me that, but then I got lost in it. There were a couple of other old patterns I got into. That would be what I was saying, I was just basically not acknowledging what was happening and instead found reasons as to why I was tired.
Syd: But then continue to keep yourself busy in a situation that was not actually serving your spirit.
Ang: No, it was not soul driven at all. It was literally something to occupy my time. It was great because I had consistent income coming in. It was easy peasy, so auto-pilot on.
Syd: Very numbing.
Ang: Very numbing.
Syd: Interesting.
Ang: Yup.
Syd: Okay, I love having that glance into what held you at a point in your life when you are now past that point in your life. You know what I mean?
Ang: Ya.
Syd: Just taking a look into why you were there. Not holding guilt, or shame, or judgment towards yourself, but really from a space of trying to understand. That way moving forward you can see “am I just filling my time? Am I numbing? Am I not sitting with myself?”. So the other part of my question is, what would a future version of you, whether it’s a version of you a week from now, 6 months from now, or 5 years from now. What would that version of you say to you today with the situation you find yourself in?
Ang: Stop overdoing it. Hahah! I am laughing because I am a manifesting generator. I have ADD, ADHD, depending on who you are asking when you say this, but it doesn’t matter. I am a go go go getter. I am doing things all of the time. Stop overdoing it. But I also want to say, why are you doing it? WHy are you doing the things that you are doing? If I don't have an answer, or a reason why that is deep enough for each individual thing or person that I am involving myself with, then I need to look at it honestly and truthfully and say then this is not for me.
We’ve all, you have, all of our listeners have, I have, we’ve all lived a life for so long where we need to people please. We need to make sure everyone else is taken care of without taking care of ourselves first. Whereas you just asked me, what would future Angie say? I am saying, stop overdoing it and ask yourself why you are doing the things you are doing. So simple, yet it’s such a needed reminder in those moments of reflection. I am so glad that we are chatting about this stuff today because where I am, all of us, we are in the thick of it. We are in the winter season, we are in the space of reflection. It’s not about only today taking the time for reflection, you can take however long you need, but remind yourself that reflection is so important for you to realize what you are doing. Ask yourself, what your future self, like you just asked me, what they would tell you to do moving into something, moving into a new chapter in your life. It’s crazy how the power of reflection can give you such clarity and guidance in a beautiful way, simply by reflecting on your past.
Syd: Ya. It really pulls you out of auto-pilot and it puts you into the space of conscious choice. We can’t consciously make a choice if we are not choosing to be aware of what is happening in our life because then we are making a choice that is not conscious. We are making a choice from our unconscious mind, or our subconscious state. I love how you answered both parts from the past version of you and what kept you stuck was trying to fill your time and numbing. Then this future version of you and what she would say to you today, stop overdoing it. I love that for you because you are a mani-gen and you do have this energy of go go go. It’s interesting that you bring up ADD, ADHD, whatever you want to call it. You know what I mean.
Ang: Yes, I am saying whatever you want to call it because so many different professionals have said I have this, then others say I have this and some say I don’t have any of it. And I am like, alright who are we asking here, who is the best judge of it all? Me. I am going to decide which word sticks with me the most.
Syd: Well, I love that you brought that up because I had this conversation with my mom a little while ago and how a friend of hers had been diagnosed with adult ADHD. I know another mutual friend that you and I have that has also been diagnosed with adult ADHD and all three… I mean I don’t know for sure my moms friend, but based on the questions I asked my mom I have an educated guess. All three of you mani-gens. So it makes me think, because I think ADHD and ADD is something that we, and a lot of diagnosis, are something to better understand why we are the way we are so we can feel better, sometimes we need medication or whatever that looks like. Ultimately I think there is another side of things where we begin to identify with it and whether or not it actually serves us to identify with it.
Ang: I love it. Because if you think about it, who is identifying you? A doctor. What has been a doctor for so long? Well a doctor has just been a doctor. We’ve always known a doctor to be a doctor. It tells you, sorry it, he, she, they, them, whomever, they tell you what’s wrong with you. They are the ones to choose to put you in a box. We’re, we’re I am saying you and I in this conversation, we are here to say that there are different things to see what’s “wrong” or “different” about you. The mani-gen is more of a new age, a spiritual way to define what your energy is.
Syd: Yes!
Ang: You can look at it from the route that we’ve known for so long, where society says this is what’s wrong with you.
Syd: Western medicine.
Ang: Western medicine. Exactly. Or we can look at the new age, spiritual awakening journey that has been introduced. Well human design was introduced in the late or early 80’s.
Syd: I think you are right.
Ang: It’s not been around for that long, that’s why it’s called new age. But it is a very awakening place to be because it’s how you understand what your energy is and how to tap into it. Here is to say that this new age stuff, not to say that you are not putting yourself in a box, because you still kind of are. You are putting yourself in a spiritual box when you say you’re a manifesting generator, this is why you are all over the place. Or you are diagnosed with ADHD and this is why you are all over the place. It’s just to show that you and I are trying to get rid of these boxes.
Syd: Limits.
Ang: Yes these box type names and limits. For us to understand that, I think it’s so important that we don’t have to be in a box. But we can express it in saying, I have ADD or I am a manifesting generator, and just leave it at that.
Syd: Yes!
Ang: It doesn’t define what our next steps are, meaning I have to take medication because of this or I have to do things differently because I am weird. It just means that we know something about ourselves based on someone else's perception of us. At the end of the day its up to us to keep moving forward with whatever feels best into how we are as people.
Syd: The way I have seen it, being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, from a very societal driven mindset, I see it as then you need to confirm to society because you don’t fit in. Whereas a mani-gen you know you are meant to multitask. That is you using your energy in the best way possible. It’s not about you conforming to fit in, it’s a permission slip for you to be you.
Ang: Exactly.
Syd: So the reason why I wanted to bring it in is because you said, stop overdoing it. I think that is key for you because as a mani-gen you still have to do, but stop overdoing it because that’s what you were doing in the past. Filling your time, filling your time. The second thing you said that future you would say is why are you doing it? The moment you stop overdoing something it gives you space to stand there and say, why? You aren’t numbing. You aren’t numbing yourself with go go go go. You are go go go, okay hold on a second, let me reflect, what’s working what’s not working. Now let’s go go go, now hold on a second let me reflect. It sounds like that is the lesson you are bringing into this year.
Ang: Absolutely. You mean just taking the time…
Syd: to do those things.
Ang: Okay wait. Say it again. What did you say I was bringing into 2023?
Syd: The fact that you are stopping overdoing it, and you are giving yourself space to reflect on saying, is this working, is this not working, what do I need to shift? Now I am going to step back into this new stuff, focus on doing and going. Right?! Your time to check in is not 10 months, it’s a week, two weeks. And then you go, do the things, gain more information, then you come back into yourself and ask why you are doing things. What is your body saying, what is your soul saying? Then you move forward again. You give yourself space to check in.
Ang: That is so true. I am doing that because I am in a new environment across the country. I am in a place where I want to do things with such purpose, so if I am not having purpose in my life and I am starting to feel frustrated, well then that is my moment to be checking in. Rather than just checking in after I numb myself for a day or two and then I quote on quote forget to check in. Yes, you are absolutely right. I am much more aware on that frustration coming forward, I know it’s my not-self theme, I know it doesn’t bring good feelings. So it’s about looking at what I can do to get out of it, it’s as simple as recognizing that I am frustrated.
Syd: Yes! And then looking into where that frustration is being triggered from.
Ang: Exactly, which is what I do with reflection.
Syd: I love this so much! I know there is so much more going on in your life which is why I love the check in calls. I am just looking at the time, so as we wrap up today’s call, call lol. We are in person.
Ang: I love it!
Syd: As we wrap up this episode, is there anything else that you feel like you want to share about this topic?
Ang: Ya and I am going to bring it out to the listener. I am also going to be re-listening to this and I know I am going to need this message in the future. It’s that if you are also feeling some sort of level of frustration, burnout or that this isn’t working, then when is the last time you checked in and what have you done since that last check in to now. If there hasn’t been a check in that you can consciously remember, no problem, that is going to be now. When is your next check in going to be and what is your goal for your next check in? I think that’s very important to think about because if we are trying to create this level of consciousness moving forward, especially into month 2 of 2023, where does our consciousness lie? If it's not lying anywhere and it’s hanging out in the sky, here is Angie saying let’s bring it back down to earth and let’s do something about it. So that’s what I want to share.
Syd: Amazing! Love it! Let’s do more check-ins. I am here for it.
Ang: Thank you Syd I have really appreciated this.
Syd: Thank you for sharing! I think it’s so empowering for me to hear where you are at, what you’ve learned and how you are choosing to carry it moving forward. I love this and I am excited to see what 2023 brings for you.
Ang: Yay! Go me! Go you! Go us, us as in you listeners! Let’s get it 2023!
On that note guys, as we wrap up this conversation, next week we are going to chat all about Syd’s check in and I am so excited for this one because you guys just heard all the new things I am going through. Syd has also gone through a lot of new discoveries in her life and I really want to dive into those to figure out how she has helped herself and also how that can help you the listener and her clients. There have been a lot of shifts in her personal life and her business life, and all the things. I am so excited for next week. That is where we are going to officially wrap things up. We are going to love you and leave you until next week.
Syd: Bye everyone!
Ang: Bye!