The Truth About Weight Loss | Episode 117: Angie the Expert
Understanding your weight loss journey as a woman can be extremely stressful, especially when you are not seeing the results that you want.
In this week’s episode of the Carrying Connected Conversations podcast, Angie is bringing her expertise to the table as a physical wellness coach. Angie teaches and supports her clients on a wide range of topics including working out for your body type, nutrition, implementing personal accountability, embodying a self love mindset and creating a routine that supports your lifestyle. In this specific episode Angie is sharing knowledge on weight loss and the key tips you need to reach success in losing those pesky 10 pounds. One of the best tips she has to offer is all about lowering your expectations so you can increase your results. By the end of the episode the listener will better understand their body and how to stay accountable on their weight loss journey.
Listen to the episode now to gain knowledge around weight loss and the importance of lowering your expectations to see results.
You can continue reading about the conversation Syd & Ang had on the podcast through the transcript below.
Syd: Hello hello! Welcome back to another episode of Carrying Connected Conversations. We are on a roll right now. So, excited to be back with you guys. If you don't know we kind of disappeared for a few months, but we are back. We are at it. We are uploading new episodes every single week. The last two episodes were check ins. We did a check in with Angie with what’s going on in her life. Then we did a check in with me, Sydney, and what’s been going on in my life. Kind of like what we are learning, what we are healing and what we are growing through, which is the point of these connected conversations. To share our experiences in a vulnerable way, to kind of inspire you guys to also learn and heal and grow. We really hope that you enjoyed those last two episodes.
This is where the structure shifts. So if you’ve been listening to our podcast for awhile now, this is really where we bring in something new and something different. If you don’t know, Angie is an expert at something and I, Sydney, am an expert at something. To be honest guys listening, you are also an expert at something. You might not realize it but you are. I think when we have conversations with people in their expertise it really broadens our perspective and it opens us up to learning. That is what we are going to be doing today.
We will be diving into Angie’s expertise. She is an expert in all things in physical wellness, this has to do with working out for your body type, nutrition, implementing personal accountability, also embodying a self love mindset and creating a routine that supports your lifestyle. So that gives you a quick glimpse into what she is an expert at.
Before I announce today’s topic, Angie what is going on? Say hello, tell me how you are doing.
Ang: I love it! I was like, I am here for this. I will take the backseat and let Syd do all the talking. Hahaha! I am doing great and thank you so much for that wonderful introduction because I think that will really give the listeners a good insight in terms of where my expertise really does lie. I know when we started this podcast we started with the idea that we are mind, body, soul all together. I am the body aspect, you are the soul aspect, and together we are the mind. I think this more in-depth explanation of where I am an expert in all things physical wellness really helps the listeners understand it’s not just working out. It’s not only nutrition, it really does go above and beyond that. So thank you for bringing that in Syd.
Syd: Ya, of course. I think that shows why you are the expert because for those of us that are not expert, ahem me, we would hear that someone is a physical trainer and I would just think working out. I wouldn’t realize that there is actually so much more that goes into it. There is so much more that goes into your physical wellness. I am really excited to have these episodes every single month where we tap into your expertise and you teach us something so we can learn through your expertise.
Ang: And then of course, likewise for you because next week we are going to be sitting back, well I am going to be sitting back listening to all things that Sydney is an expert on. So I am excited for that shift.
Syd: I love it so much! So, today’s topic specifically you picked this topic and I’m really excited to know everything that you want to share about this and to see maybe my own opinions on it.
The topic for today is lowering your expectations in order to see an increase in your results. What? Lowering your expectations to see an increase in your results. Angie, what does this mean to you?
Ang: I really want to talk about this idea of weight loss. We’ve all struggled at a certain point in time of wanting to lose weight or maybe the opposite of wanting to gain weight. What I’ve seen, for myself personally in my life, and so often for women, is that we get so attached to where we want to go that we forget where we are at right now. When I am saying weight loss it’s, “oh I want to lose 10 pounds”, “I want to lose 15 pounds”. When you become so over consumed by that end goal anything less of that end goal that you will obtain is not good enough. Where we talked about 2 episodes ago is the wounded feminine. Disappointment is usually that number one wound. We get disappointed and butt hurt that we didn’t lose that 10 pounds and we say to ourselves, “I guess I’m a failure, I didn’t lose that 10 pounds. I guess I should give up on my diet now. There is no sense in continuing.” We get so caught up in where we are at versus where we are trying to go. Where we are trying to go is not necessarily where we are at and so we get so lost and confused with the end goal.
This idea of lowering your expectations in order to see an increase in end results. The reason why I want to use one of my clients as an example is because she was the one that made this realization. I knew this this whole time but I had to get her to learn this and understand this for herself.
Just to rewind this a little bit to share where this client of mine is coming from. This client of mine has been with me literally since I started my business over 3 years ago. Where I started my business is very different to where I am at now. Where I started my business before was coming from a very teacher type perspective. “Hey these are things I want you to learn, I’m going to help you incorporate some of these things into you life” that’s what the coaching aspect comes into it, and then of course the integration which is in between the programs. So that is how I set it up and then just this past year with a huge change in my life. I’m sure for those listeners that have been listening you will all know I’ve experienced some major shifts. Those of you that do not know, well I am not going to sit here and explain so please go back and listen to episodes 80 and above.
Syd: Just go listen to them all.
Ang: Hahaha ya, listen to them all. I love it! Where I was a year ago now is that I decided to no longer do group programs because it took a lot of my energy and I didn’t have enough energy to support that. I wanted to do it from a place of how could show up from my maximum supportive energy. What that is is to show up twice a week where I was the personal trainer. So that is 4 times… or wait. 8 times if I can do math.
Syd: I can’t so I was agreeing with you.
Ang: Hahaha! You’re like “ya for sure” hahah! So 8 times in a month I am showing up to do the personal training component of it. The one time a month, the last Saturday of every month, I go into the integration. This is either what the client wants to know or what I believe the client needs to know based off of what I’ve seen. We always do check ins before our personal training sessions. Keep in mind these are group personal training sessions, these are not one on one. This program is my Fit and Free Membership, so it’s available for anybody if you are wondering. It’s $44 per month to come in, details of course if you send me a DM I would be more than happy to explain that.
Anyways, while I shamelessly promote myself. The idea now where it comes from is getting a good understanding of where I was wanting to help this client progress. Earlier on in this year, from January until May, where I wanted the calls to go and the direction where I was seeing the progress of my client, she was wanting to focus on weight loss. So what I had to do was teach somebody about weight loss and how I had to teach them about weight loss was backwards. Reverse engineering is a way I like to describe it.
Let’s say you want to lose 10 pounds. Let’s get into the science of it. How fast can you lose a pound? Well to lose healthy fat in a week it’s anywhere from 1 to 2 pounds. So if you reverse engineer this, it’s going to be 5 to 10 weeks it will take you to lose 10 pounds. That’s what the reverse engineering looks like. Now that you’ve determined the timeline of 5 to 10 weeks, let’s just call it 10 weeks. Okay what are you going to be doing every single one of those weeks and what are you going to be doing every single day in those weeks? Now what comes into every single day is where are those thoughts, how are they aligned, how are they impacting you? What things from your lifestyle are you doing or not doing that is going to support your long-term weight loss goals. It’s looking at it big picture but narrowing it down smaller and smaller and smaller. This is why I talk about creating a routine that is supportive for your lifestyle because every body and every person is going to have a different life even though they all want to lose 10 pounds. Well, realistically how is losing 10 pounds going to work for you and your life?
What we did was we reverse engineered that, we focused every single month on what worked well from the previous month and what didn’t work well from last month, and what we need to focus on in each month. We did this for 3 or 4 months and we realized that the weight she wanted to lose wasn’t gone. In my eyes it was, but in her eyes it wasn’t. What we decided to do was completely change how we are looking at things. I said we would still focus on weight loss, except you are not going to tell me that you want to lose 10 pounds. Instead what we are going to do is we will set some baseline standards or minimums. When you reach these minimums that means big picture you’ve got the check in the box. When you zoom into that you didn’t fail, you did it.
So, in terms of that on a week by week basis that’s what we were focusing on. Every second week we decided to focus on weigh-ins and check ins. What that meant was you were to physically measure yourself around your chest, your waist, your hips, your glutes, and then for fun around your arms, thighs and calves if you really want to get into the nitty gritty stuff. You also weigh yourself. You do this first thing in the morning every single two weeks. She has been doing this first thing in the morning every single two weeks and it’s now been 10 weeks she’s been doing this.
Funny enough, we had our celebration call, it was another monthly check in just a couple weeks ago. She said, “Angie can you just look at my numbers for a second?” and I thought “oh we are going to start the call like this. I looked at her numbers and what did she end up doing? She lost more than 10 pounds. Like what?! My mind is blown! The reason why I am using this real life example is because the expectations were finally lowered and now she is seeing an increase in her results. Because the expectations are no longer set around “I want to lose 10 pounds”. That was never the expectations and the end goal, I mean it inevitably is, but its not the only end goal because the end goal is to feel good every single day of your life. How can you feel good at the end of every single day? How can you feel good at the end of every single week? Well, you have to focus on big picture. Keeping track of your results helps you remove the pressure in wanting to see more results. When you are lowering those expectations you are allowing yourself to see more results and your body is going to be perform inevitably in the way you want it to be performing in the first place.
When you stop focusing so much on I just want to lose 10 pounds, when in reality it’s not about losing 10 pounds, it’s about wanting to feel good in your body and wanting to fit into your clothes. She started to do these things intentionally and the more often she did those things intentionally she started seeing results.
Syd: I am really glad that you took that time to explain that example. It’s interesting to because I have a list of questions I wanted to ask you and one of them was give me an example. The other one was how does it impact your clients and I think you really answered all three of those questions.
I’m a spiritual mentor and so my expertise is very much in energy. A lot of people don’t agree with this and would call is woo-woo, but everything is energy even in scientific terms, everything is energy. Your mindset is energy. What you had explained obviously tapping into my own expertise I look at that very much in an energy aspect. I look at the emotions, the thoughts, I look at your spirit, your sense of being in how you are moving through this. When you talk about lowering your expectations in order to see an increase in results I immediately go “oh this makes a lot of sense because your expectations are on an end result”. It’s very action oriented and it’s very “I will be happy when”, “I will feel free when”. Whereas in the work that I do it’s very much focused on “why are you delaying your happiness?” Why are you limiting what brings you joy. A lot of the work I do is focused on you can only feel free in the present moment, the future will never happen because when you get to the future it’s the present moment. So if you can’t feel free now then how will you feel free then.
The way you described this and how you broke it down to actionable steps of not just every two weeks weighing yourself and measuring yourself. But you also said, this is how you can show up on a daily basis. In your physical training you made it clear that this is what you are working on. Being someone who is not a physical wellness expert and you hear that someone is wanting to lose weight, one of the things I’ve learned from you I believe is that muscle weighs more than fat.
Ang: Yes.
Syd: So this idea of losing weight is kind of contradicting because if you are working out in a specific way you are adding muscle. I love that you said the measuring of yourself because rather than being focused on a physical number that is subjective in that you are also teaching your client it’s about the way you feel in the way you look is more important. You look at these steps that you are taking, are you drinking more water, what is the food that you are eating and how does it make you feel, how does it energize you versus deplete you.
Ang: I think if I explain it this way it might resonate a little more with you. I have never used a goal board ever in my life, or a vision board for those of you that might know it as that. I found that it always put me in this energy of lack. Well I still don’t have that. You are so focused on that end result, but you are so focused on the fact that you don’t have it. You are never really enjoying the process along the way.
What I mean by lowering your expectations is that you need to stop focusing on the fact that you need to lose 10 pounds because what is 10 pounds going to do? 10 pounds is not what’s going to give you that happiness, as you explained you’re not going to be happy in future you’re going to be happy now, so learn how to be happy now. The other part of it is when you are doing these measurements every single two weeks, guess what that allows you to do? It allows you to embody a self love mindset. How? Because it forces you to have to look at yourself. It forces you to have to put that tape measure around your naked body in front of a mirror to see what you are measuring. You are not going to see it every single two weeks because you look the same. You look at yourself every single day in the mirror, but where you can see the difference is the numbers that you wrote down. All that you are doing is collecting data on your life and focusing on the data. You are not focusing on weight loss, you are focusing on the data. When you are focusing on the data you are focusing on the present and when you are focused on the present you are creating more intentionality. You are not focusing so much on what hasn’t happened yet, you are focusing on what you are doing presently. Does that kind of make sense?
Syd: Ya it does. What you said there really resonates because what you feel is what you attract back. The energy you carry is what you attract back. It sounds like you’re really working with your client more on the mindset and the way she sees herself and the way she perceives the physical training and the losing weight. You said that the energy of lack “I still don’t have that” immediately goes into comparison. We don't necessarily need to be comparing ourselves to other people. We are comparing ourselves to where we are and where we want to be and a lot of that produces disappointment. It produces frustration and judgment and shame because we are so focused on where we want to be, that when we see we are not there, like you said, we see lack. We say “I’m not there” and we get down on ourselves. I love how you are giving her step by step tools of what actions to take in order to reach the result eventually but it’s not about reaching the result, it’s about taking the action steps and focusing on how can I love myself in this process. Right!? And seeing your body every single day and creating a mindset that is more focused on love and if you are doing the work and you are feeling good in the process you will produce the numbers. That is the law of attraction. It’s saying I’m aligned, I feel good and I am taking action, so I am going to attract that energy back. The data is going to prove to me that I am doing the work. When you are only focused on the 10 pounds you are not seeing the data, you are not getting the proof or confirmation. That is so empowering.
Ang: I think this will help with the process. Two things. Number one we talked about data and we also talked about how muscle weighs more than fat. I really want to talk about that for a second because a lot of women get confused or misconstrued when the number on the scale changes. Because things are changing inside of your proportionally, sometimes the number on the scale might not change. When you look at the data sometimes it will seem like the weight for weeks stays the same, but all the other numbers change. This is because sometimes your body might not be in a place to lose weight, but your body is in a place to move the weight. That to me is progress because as long as you are seeing anywhere from your mid section down to your glutes, if you are seeing that number go down it is showing that there has been significant change in your body. This is your most important part because of your female organs. As women we are trying to hold onto weight there, why because we are trying to protect all of our reproductive organs. Unfortunate for us, that’s why the weight packs on in our bellies, our glutes and our midsection because it’s our body trying to safeguard those areas. It’s our body trying to protect us, so if we can see that the weight is at least shifting if not being “lost” it’s not that it’s a bad thing it’s the same number. It’s for you to see that the weight is moving and when it’s done making it’s movements then it’s going to leave you, when it no longer needs to stay on you anymore.
Syd: That is really powerful. I’m really glad that you shared that because I think that’s going to help a lot of people, myself included, to understand our physical body a bit more. Especially as women. I know your gift in being an expert in physical wellness is not just telling people “here’s what you need to do to lose the weight”. You are really good at working with people personally, one on one, and in group format, really getting clear at knowing your clients lifestyle. Plus knowing your clients body type. I think that is something that is really important. You said that as women if you are weighing yourself every day go ahead, but you might not see the weight shift. For me being a spiritual mentor I think well, ya because as women we are affected by the moon cycle. Our sleep patterns, our emotions, our energy is not meant to consistent. So that would translate into our body as well. We could lose weight really quickly, but was that water weight? Do you know what I mean? So it’s not about relying on the number on the scale to find a sense of pride or to congratulate yourself.
In saying all of this and maybe wrapping up this topic in a beautiful way. What would be your top two tips, whether someone is focused on body weight and maybe that is the example you are wanting to continue to go with. What are your top two tips that people can start to practice in their own life?
Ang: Totally, but before I do that too, I want to share a fun fact for everyone. If you are someone that weighs themself everyday, again carry on with it, but I want you to remind yourself that as us women we fluctuate 3 to 5 pounds every single day. So, if you are weighing yourself at different times in the day, the evening versus the morning , you are going to weigh 3 to 5 pounds heavier than you would in the morning. If you are going to weigh yourself, keep in mind when you are weighing yourself and to keep it consistent. The best time is right after you go to the washroom in the morning before you eat anything. That is when you will be at your lowest.
Now to answer you question Syd, two things to focus on. I very much believe in mindset. The mindset in terms of where are your thoughts. So it’s about what you do outside of our one on one time together. Let’s say we just finished an hour workout together and then I’m not going to see you until tomorrow. Where are you for the other 23 hours of the day? Where are your thoughts so heavy focused on? Are you thinking about how your clothes don’t fit? Or you are thinking about the flab you notice every time you walk past the mirror. If you are not conscientious on where your thoughts are on an every single day basis, it’s going to be a lot harder for you to get to where you are wanting to go because you are distracting yourself from the end result focusing on all those negative thoughts.
The first thing to really get super clear on is where your thoughts are lying and if you are finding that there is a lot of negative talk. I highly encourage my clients to write it down and write it down subjectively. Don’t write it down like, “I am fat”. Instead write “today I had a thought that I was overweight”. That is a lot different than if you are writing I am because those I am statements are attaching you to the negative thoughts. It’s about focusing on being really clear with your thoughts and understanding how that’s impacting your day. This will help you to see your success.
The next thing to this is your routine. If you do not have a routine, as in a baseline, like I said earlier with my client’s example we have a baseline. It’s to workout twice a week and to get a walk in. Then you can start focusing on the mindset. If there is no baseline then what’s the point of working out anyways? Yes you want to lose 10 pounds but you don’t even have a baseline, you have no structure and that’s where you end up getting lost. I hope that is a good answer, I know it’s not very specific because every body is different, everybody has a different lifestyle.
Syd: I think that answer works perfectly because the topic is about lowering your expectations to see an increase in results. The two tips you gave us are about focusing on what you can be doing right now, not about focusing on your expectations and how you can reach them. So what we can do right now is about working on your mindset which is tied to the self love which I know is something you really coach your clients through. Learning to love yourself in however you are in this moment. I am always talking about thoughts and how it’s important to understand our thoughts and bring awareness to them. So I love how that’s the first focus is to pay attention to your thoughts. Then the second tip is to get really clear on your routine in a sense. What is the baseline of how you show up for your physical wellness? How are you taking care of yourself? Because if you are not taking care of yourself lowering your expectations is not going to give you an increase in results right? I love that.
Before we wrap things up is there anything you want to leave us on with this topic.
Ang: I wanted to preface the example I gave. This is one of my clients examples, now I want you to be mindful that there are other things that are taken in consideration in terms of why weight loss has been such a focus for us.
Whenever you are so focused on losing weight what happens is you are adding stress to your body from a physiological standpoint. You can’t physically see the stress, but how you physically see the stress is the number on the scale. What I mean by that is when your cortisol levels raise, when your stress is increased, there is this term water retention, where you are holding onto extra weight or water weight. That water weight happens to stay on you as much as you are stressed or the cortisol levels are increased. When you can start lowering that stress, which is lowering the stress of needing to lose 10 pounds, you end up lowering your cortisol levels. This inevitably helps you to lose weight.
Keep in mind, as a women, you might be going through menopause, you might be going through hormone shifts from a pregnancy. Whatever it is, keep in mind that us as women have to deal with so many hormonal things, it also has a direct correlation with your weight. If you are so focused on the weight itself and you are not focusing on the hormonal side of your life and of your body, if you’re not taking that into consideration you will end up raising your cortisol levels to the point where you are not going to lose any weight. If anything you will end up gaining weight.
I wanted to preface that just incase you are somebody who is struggling in their weight loss journey. Don’t stress about the weight loss, maybe it’s time to go seek a doctor. Maybe it’s time to figure out if there are some hormonal imbalances. Hopefully that can help you guys to get a lot clearer and concise in your weight loss journey.
Syd: Right! I think that’s perfect. So everyone that’s listening, if you physical wellness is important to you and you want to start working on it or you are working on it but you feel like things aren’t moving along, message Angie what your baseline is. Or if you don’t even know what your baseline should be based on your lifestyle, message Angie because she will help you in figuring that out. I want to point out that if you don’t have a baseline of what you are working on and your thoughts are centered around criticizing yourself and what you look like, then you aren’t moving anywhere. Whereas if you have a baseline, the moment those thoughts creep in, you get to say to yourself, “I’ve worked out once already this week and I’ve got my other workout scheduled. I’m doing the work, I’m shifting my energy and I’m really proud of myself for that.”
Ang: Yes! That is it! See you started to lower your expectations and now you see the results. Bing bang boom!
Syd: I love that so much! And you asking about the baseline makes me think “oh man maybe I gotta check myself here. Maybe I’ve got to do something about this.” hahahaha!
Ang: Hey remember every lifestyle is different. Because you listened to this episode I would be more than happy to help you figure out what your baseline is by doing a 30 minute clarity call. If this does interest you, send me a DM. This way you are walking away with something that is actually in accordance with your lifestyle. Maybe working out is something that doesn’t sound good for you, I can still give you ways so you are taking care of yourself physically. So I want to give that gift to you guys.
Syd: Perfect! I love it. So not only did we get tips and do we better understand how to lose 10 pounds or more specifically how to lower our expectations so we can see those results, we can connect with you. I think the people listening, you will know if you feel called to take her up on that offer or not.
Wrapping things up here, thank you so much Ang for sharing this. This has really expanded my perspective on what it means to take care of your physical wellness and it really provided clear tips, clear advice and how to start showing up in a healthier way with a healthier mindset for our physical wellness. I want to thank everyone for listening and for being here. This is our first episode of sharing our expertise on something. Let us know, send us a message on what you liked about it or send us a message with questions. Ask Angie on what you want to know or what you want to hear from her on physical wellness and self love and all the things she is an expert on. This will help us to bring more valuable content to the podcast.
Next week we are going to be diving into my expertise of being a spiritual mentor and an intuitive guide. I love talking about emotional wellness as well. Interestingly enough, even though I’m not a therapist or a counsellor, I have my own ways and own experiences of helping people and healing people. I think it’s really important to feel, and you know who you want to work with and who you want to learn from. Anyways, the expertise that I am going to be bringing next week is about removing trauma bonding from your relationships as an empath. So if you feel like in some of your relationships you’ve been trauma bonding with your friends or family members, and you want to remove that aspect of your relationship, this is the episode to listen to.
Ang: Honestly, I’m pretty excited to hear about this removing the trauma bond because I have so many questions on this. So, without jumping into it I’m going to leave it here and I’m going to bring it to you guys. Don’t forget to hit that rating and review button. Let us know what you liked, what you want to see more of and we would be happy to share that with you. Thank you everybody for listening in to my expertise and I’m excited to hear all about yours next week Syd.
Syd: Yes! Thank you so much! We are going to send you all so much love and we are going to leave you here. We will be chatting at you next week. So for now, bye everyone!
Ang: Bye!