You Do Not Fit Inside a Box | Unbecoming while Becoming YOU
I have always felt like I don’t fit in. Like I’m not meant to be “normal”. Like I’m an outsider in a world that will never accept me for who I am. I have felt like I need to shift and evolve in order to make myself fit into the box that society wants me to be in. Yet this box makes me feel claustrophobic.
This is a blog about my journey, as a Spiritual Mentor, Psychic, Author and Intuitive Guide, in how I learnt how to honour myself and become the true version of me. This is how I shifted my perspective, became self aware and stepped into my inner spirit.
I have this vivid memory that has been popping up in my mind for several months now. I was driving home from high school and as I drove into my neighborhood I saw three kids running around playing together. They were laughing, smiling and being carefree kids. I saw them and immediately I felt alone. My mind told me that those kids were so happy and I could never reach that same level of “happiness”. As I drove my car I had that feeling of “I will never fit in.”
Looking back now I can see two competing ideas that I carried. The ego said I didn’t fit in and I desperately wanted to fit in. This idea led me astray for many years. I found myself people pleasing my way into the cool group of friends. I tried my hardest to become who they wanted me to be. Whereas my spirit said I don’t fit in because I am not meant to fit in. I was always meant to stand out. I was always meant to feel different because I am different. My spirit was trying to lead me to see how my uniqueness made me beautiful, strong, and ultimately, it made me me.
For so long I was trying to be someone I am not.
I was trying to fit into the box that people placed on me. I always knew I was meant to live a different life. I took risks and made choices that led me down a dirt path. I was forging and exploring, creating my own way. I was moving as far away from the highway of societal norms. I didn’t want to follow the path that everyone else was on. I wanted to discover a new path. A new way of being.
Even though I was off exploring and creating a new path, I still found myself wanting to fit into the box that my peers saw me in. I saw myself through their eyes. I tried to manipulate myself into being who they thought I was. But it never felt right. I still felt lost. As much as I traveled down my own path, I was always trying to find a way to cross over and join someone else’s path. I wanted them to see me fully, yet I wasn’t allowing myself to be seen.
I wasn’t seeing myself fully.
That day when I was 17 years old, watching the children play as I drove by, I felt unseen and I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t seeing myself fully.
I have worked so hard to block out parts of me. Not willing to admit to who I am. Trying to be someone else. No wonder I have felt unseen for so long. I wasn’t choosing to see myself.
Now things are different.
I am choosing to listen.
I am choosing to see.
I am choosing to understand who I am at my core, without trying to be who other people want me to be.
It is the unbecoming.
I am unbecoming who I have always thought I had to be for the world and I am learning to simply be who I am. I don’t need to change, shift, or adapt myself to fit into the box society holds for me. I am allowed to stand in my own space and stretch my being out as far as I desire.
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Back to the blog - You Do Not Fit Inside a Box | Unbecoming while Becoming YOU
I remember at my Opa’s funeral I saw some old childhood friends. I hadn’t lived at home for 8 years, so I had broken free from the box that my childhood friends and neighbours held me in. All of a sudden being back in that space made me realize how much I had grown. I had already stepped out of the box that society had tried to hold me in. I had already begun to venture into my own space and had allowed myself to stretch far and wide. I had taken up space in a way that my childhood community never saw me in.
Well, my friend’s mom made a comment at the funeral that had a lasting impact on me. She said to me and my friends “Girls, we need to bring Sydney back to reality. We need to get her out of the mountains and bring her back to the city.” I don’t know what her intention was in saying this. Obviously it was the first time she had seen me in a different light than how she had watched me grow up. But I felt so hurt by this comment. I felt unseen and misunderstood. She didn’t know who I was and that scared her. It scared her so much that she felt like I was lost. I don’t know how she felt, but this is how I perceived the moment.
When I am in nature I feel fully seen for who I am.
I feel like I can drop all my barriers and allow myself to simply be. It’s in society, surrounded by people, that I feel like I need to conform to make myself fit. But I am not meant to fit. I am meant to stand out.
These two memories keep replaying in my mind. They have been on repeat for the last several months. Playing over and over. So, I’m sitting here, asking why?! There is something my spirit wants me to recognize. There is a message in all of this for me.
The first message I am receiving…
It’s okay if you feel different. It’s okay to not fit in. Nobody fits in. We all feel different. We all feel unseen at times. We all feel misunderstood in life. It’s easy to get caught up in the belief that we need to be someone specific in order to live the life we want. In reality, we don’t need to be anyone specific, we don’t need to change, we don’t need to conform to fit in. We are all meant to stand out in our own way.
When you find yourself in a place of feeling unseen and misunderstood you are being given an opportunity. This opportunity is not about finding the right people to see you, it’s about taking the time to see yourself, to understand yourself.
The second message…
Don’t let anyone tell you who you are or who you should be.
People want to try and fit you inside a box so they can better understand you. But guess what, YOU DO NOT FIT INSIDE A BOX. Their perception of you is exactly that, a perception, it will never be the truth in who you are and who you are becoming.
You don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to try and convince someone of who you are and why you are that way. If they don’t get it, then they are not your people.
The more you take the time to understand yourself the more you open up space to allow people into your life who will also understand you.
I am choosing to make a vow for the rest of my life. I vow to dismantle the boxes that society places on us. I vow to remind myself daily that I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to be different. I am allowed to change and evolve only if I desire to change and evolve. I am allowed to see myself for the multi-dimensional being that I am. I do not need to explain who I am on paper. I do not need to force myself to fit into a title so people can better understand me.
I have lived a diverse and vast life. If someone truly wanted to understand me they would need to be devoted to listening to my life story and all that has shaped me and all that I have chosen to let fall away from me. They would need to be open-minded to seeing that I am unbecoming while I am becoming.
In order for someone to truly understand me they would need to truly understand themselves in the vastness of who they are.
In order for someone to truly understand me I would need to truly understand myself.
You do not fit inside a box.
So, who are you?
This is a journey of discovery. A journey of uncovering. A journey of becoming your true essence.
I vow to be devoted to this journey. I vow to always be curious. I vow to always push past the limits of society's boxes. I vow to take up space in my life. I vow to always be uncovering my true essence. I vow to take up space in the world.
I vow to not let the opinions of others derail me. I vow to be curious in how others view the world. I vow to be open-minded and to let my perspective of others shift and evolve as I continue to learn.
We do not fit inside a box because we are limitless beings.
I vow to be limitless in all that I am, all that I do and all that I have.
This is a journey and I am choosing to be committed to myself on this journey.
If you are ready to learn how to support yourself through uncovering your inner spirit then it’s time to book a FREE Clarity Call with me. This is where you can see if working with me 1:1 is a perfect fit to change your life, shift forward, heal, uncover your dreams, open your spiritual connections and THRIVE in your life.
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Until next time, sending love & light on your journey,
Sydney Smith
Founder of Adventuring with Poseidon Wellness
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