Why You STRUGGLE with SELF LOVE | VIDEO Lesson
Self love is something we all struggle with at different times in life and it has a huge impact on whether you will trust your intuition or not. We all carry childhood wounds that impact how we perceive ourselves and this is what tends to create a lack of self love as adults.
As a Spiritual Mentor & Intuitive Guide, Sydney is sharing the importance of self love and most importantly how to heal emotionally and spiritually on your path to self love. This YouTube video shares a deep dive into how childhood wounds affect your ability to love yourself and what’s needed to start trusting your intuition with unwavering faith.
Here is a little more information on the video before you press play.
When you cannot hold unwavering love for yourself you will not be able to trust your intuition fully. Why do you struggle with self love? Sydney, the spiritual mentor, is explaining how our childhood wounds end up creating unsupportive patterns around seeking external validation. Whether you know your inner child wounds or not, this video will give you great insight into why you struggle with self love.
Sydney explains how we become perfectionists, people pleasers and workaholics and how these patterns affect us negatively. Emotional and spiritual healing is about finding the origins of the wound you carry and rewriting the behaviour patterns you have.
Self love is not about saying the right affirmations, it's about learning to love all aspects of who you are today. This means you are being guided to heal the emotional wounds that are blocking you from receiving self love.
Watch the video to learn more about why you struggle with self love and how self love is the gateway to trusting your intuition.
Read Sydney’s notes from this video…
When you cannot hold unwavering love for yourself you will not be able to trust your intuition fully. Let’s take a deep dive into better understanding our difficulties to carry self love as adults.
1 Why do you struggle with self love?
As children we are sponges, meaning we are constantly picking up on everything that surrounds us. We hear how our parents, guardians and community members speak about themselves. We notice how society compares everyone to each other. As children our perception of ourselves is built on who the world tells us we are.
In this process we can become wounded in many different facets of how we view ourselves without even realizing it. We pick up on body image issues; we are told we are not smart enough; we are compared to other kids our age or we hear our parents comparing themselves to others; and sometimes we are even told how we are constantly making mistakes or making the wrong choices. Taking a step back and looking at how you were conditioned by your environment you can more easily see how you are carrying spiritual and emotional wounds from childhood.
2 We learn to NOT trust ourselves & to seek EXTERNAL validation
Through these conditioned patterns we become perfectionists, people pleasers, high achievers, and workaholics. These types of conditioned behaviours are rooted in desiring external validation and unhealthy emotional patterns.
You are a perfectionist because you were taught from a young age to compare yourself to everything around you, so you have become fixated on making everything perfect in an unhealthy way.
You are a people pleaser because you were conditioned to see how your actions and emotions constantly affect everyone around you, so you have the unhealthy emotional pattern of placing everyone else’s needs before your own.
Ultimately, these patterns are because we seek praise from outside sources. We believe we aren’t worthy of love unless we’ve taken care of everyone else’s needs. We make decisions based on outside opinions because we don’t trust our own decision making process.
3 Creates unsupportive pattern of the need for approval
Whether we received approval all of the time as a child in the form of “good girl, good boy, good job, well done” or we never received praise, as children we were taught to seek approval by the people around you.
This is not to say that your parents and guardians were wrong in how they raised you. It is to say that now as a conscious adult you need to learn how to give yourself approval in a healthy and loving way.
4 We need to heal these inner child wounds
When we seek external validation or receive love and approval only from outside sources, we are limited in how much love and approval we get to receive. What if the person doesn’t approve of the work you’ve done? What if after helping someone, they don’t offer their gratitude? In this unhealthy pattern you are waiting for someone else to offer you love and approval, and I’ve learned that you could be waiting a long time.
When you learn to heal these inner child wounds you create space to receive a limitless amount of love and approval. This is because when you learn to create internal validation and support you are able to love on yourself as often as you need or desire.
5 Begins the process of learning to love yourself for who you are today
By taking the time to heal emotionally and spiritually you are learning to create love for yourself today, not who you will become after you finish the task before you.
Your self love shouldn’t be conditional.
When you learn to have unwavering self love it will strengthen your ability to trust yourself.
Remember, learning to build self love is not as easy as using an affirmation. Emotional and spiritual healing is about finding the origins of the wound and rewriting the behavioural pattern you carry.
The YouTube video is much more detailed in explanation, so I encourage you to give it a watch.
Every single Tuesday I share a new YouTube video with wisdom, exercises, meditations, and lessons on spirituality, connecting to the Universe, healing past pain, and following your soul path. Make sure to subscribe to my channel and turn on the notifications to not miss out on a video.
You can learn more about the work I do as a Spiritual Mentor if you are ready to commit to your healing journey and shifting into your BEST SELF. Check it out here.
Until next time, sending love & light on your spiritual journey,
Sydney Smith
Founder of Adventuring with Poseidon Wellness