Life Lessons from 2021 - Fear of Lack & Knowing My Worthiness | Soul Healing Journey Entry 9
A few weeks ago I shared my self-reflection on the year 2021 and the main lessons I learned. It was important for me to reflect on these lessons because that is how I integrate the knowledge and turn it into soul wisdom. Choosing to heal and grow is a lifetime commitment and it takes practice, a willingness to try, and when you forget and feel like you’ve failed, you pick yourself back up and go again.
Reading my old journal entries back again has inspired me in new ways. It’s not only reminded me of the lessons I am working to embody, it’s also reminded me of where I have already grown. These types of reflections will always encourage me to celebrate myself and the journey I am on.
Here are 2 more life lessons I learned in 2021 that I am continuing to embody on my spiritual journey. You can check out part one of this journal entry where I share the first 2 lessons here.
Journal Entry from January 7th 2022 - Part Two
Fear of Lack
Oh boy, this fear has been following me around for 4 years now. I have worked insanely hard over the span of 4 years to better understand the wounds that are deeply embedded within me. I’ve felt triggered in numerous different ways. Most importantly, over the past year I worked my butt off to avoid and ignore this fear. I thought I was doing everything right. I thought, if I only focused on believing that I would receive blessings it would all be okay.
Except, I couldn’t fully believe everything would be okay because deep within I didn’t feel worthy of receiving abundance. There it is. The resistance I’d been carrying for the past 4 years. I didn’t feel worthy to receive money. I thought I had to work harder. I thought the career choice I made wasn’t financially smart. I thought that I could only receive money if other people accepted me for who I was.
My fear of lack was directly connected to my need for external validation.
At the end of 2021 I allowed myself to fully embrace my fear, finally. I was no longer going to avoid and ignore it. I wanted to allow myself to feel this fear in my entire being so I could show myself there was nothing to be afraid of. I hit an all time low in my financial position, and yet I was still alive, I still received love from my family, I still carried the gifts I had, I still received support from the Universe. Allowing myself to feel the pain behind my fear is what allowed me to overcome this fear. Knowing that it wasn’t the end of the world is what gave me the strength to pursue my passions wholeheartedly.
When I spend time in nature I feel safe in my vulnerability. Mother Earth comforts me so I can feel into the pain I’ve been avoiding. My connection with the Earth is where I feel empowered to be my true self.
The last step to truly overcoming this fear. The one thing I had been missing the entire time. Actually seeing, feeling, knowing and believing that I am worthy as I am.
This is something that everyone tells you to embody, it’s something we hear all of the time. But, it’s something we cannot fake.
There is an actual shift that takes place within when you finally accept that you are worthy. I can’t explain it. It’s a feeling. A knowing. An almighty trust in yourself.
Knowing I Am Worthy
I think everyone comes to terms with their worthiness in different ways because we are all different people. For myself, I had to be willing to recognize that I am a deeply spiritual human.
My connection to the Universe and Spirit is what drives me forwards in life, it’s what makes me feel like I have a purpose, and it’s where my passions stem from.
For a lot of my life I diminished my spirituality, my connection to something greater than me, greater than this life I am living. I thought people would think I was weird and so I kept this side of me hidden. I judged myself for my spiritual connection.
Knowing I am worthy stems from fully accepting myself. Embracing my spirituality and recognizing my sixth sense as my greatest gift is what brought me to this point today. Why should I try and show up in a way that doesn’t feel right to me? Why should I try to be someone that I am not? Why should I wear a mask to make everyone else feel comfortable when there is something deeper, bigger calling on my heart and soul?
I am weird.
But so is everyone.
“I believe in something bigger than myself.
This is what allows me to feel at peace every single day, especially when I am not in control of the outcome.”
I receive support, guidance and clarity from Mother Earth and the Animal realm.
This is what allows me to trust myself and the path I’m following.
I connect to Spirit Beings and I feel a presence surrounding me that is not physically visible in this human world.
This is what reminds me that I am part of something bigger than our physical existence, it’s what encourages me to go beyond the limits of our physical reality.
I know I am worthy because I am more than a human being living this life. I am a spirit choosing to bring expansive energy from the Universe into this human existence so we can all feel supported as we create a world beyond our wildest dreams.
I am worthy because I am here, living, creating, sharing and exploring.
I am worthy because I am.
This I believe with my entire existence.
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Journaling is the most powerful tool I’ve used in my spiritual journey because it allows me to understand who I am in a deeper way. I can see where my blocks are, I can see how my Spirit is trying to guide me, and most importantly I can see what the lessons are that I am needing to learn.
Your ability to reflect, learn, heal and grow through journaling can be empowering and life-changing if you want it to be. Check out the Guidebook for Alignment to receive support on your journaling journey!
We all experience our Spiritual Awakenings in different and complex ways. This is typically the moment in life where we awaken to the recognition that something needs to change drastically in order to life in a way that is filled with purpose.
I have recently gathered 15 tips I believe everyone needs to know after their spiritual awakening while they traverse this journey we call life. No matter where you find yourself on your spiritual journey, these 15 tips will support and guide you each step of the way. You will flow down your soul path with more ease, grace and joy because of the wisdom you will gain from this mini book. Download the FREE Mini Book - Spiritual Awakening: 15 Tips You NEED to Know - here.
Until next time, sending love & light on your spiritual journey,
Sydney Smith
Founder of Adventuring with Poseidon Wellness
