Money Mindset & Learning My Soul Truths | Soul Healing Journey Entry 3
Throughout the winter of 2021/2022 I have been digging deep into my shadow self and learning about the emotional wounds buried within. A lot of the spiritual and emotional healing I’ve been guiding myself through is connected to my money mindset. For over 3 years I’ve been consistently working on my money mindset and learning how to have a healthy relationship with money. All of my spiritual development work around money culminates into a moment of self reflection I had over a month ago.
As I do when my thoughts and emotions are pulling me into the quicksand of fear, worry and doubt, I grabbed my laptop and wrote through my experience. This is my reflection. This is part of my soul healing journey.
Journal Entry from March 2nd 2022
I look at my financial situation and I see the mistakes I made in the past. My ego steps up and judges choices I made and my inability to make money and pay my bills. My ego says “look at what you couldn’t pay for in the past, how do you think you’ll be able to pay for it in the future?”
So much judgment. So much guilt. So much shame. So much blame.
The energy of this pain sits in my sacral chakra. Anytime I think about receiving money and manifesting money my mind pulls me into the pain of the unpaid bills, and how I couldn’t make money in my past. This pain, this suffering sits deeply inside of me and is the monster that keeps me staying small. “Who am I to make more money if I couldn’t make it in the past? Who am I to be debt free if I’m the one that racked up the debt in the first place?” So much pain. So much suffering. So many limits, holding me back and keeping me small.
I slow down.
I ground myself to Mother Earth.
I seek higher ground through my spiritual connection.
I know I am more than my mind. For I am a Spirit first and foremost.
It is through my awareness that I can guide myself back to remembering that I am more. More than my past. More than my mistakes. More than my fear. More than my pain.
It is my connection with Mother Earth that guides me to my Soul Truths. This is where I learn to harmonize my shadow & light.
My Spirit is a quiet, calm, reassuring voice. I choose to let her speak now. I choose to let her voice be the one I focus on. She is the voice of my Highest Self. The one who has already lived through everything. The one who chose to come to earth and inhabit this body and mind. I sit quietly and I listen to her ever-knowing wisdom.
She says, “Sydney, your pain is a reminder of the life you’ve lived. It’s not the truth on where you are going. Your pain is only one end of the human scale, and your hope can guide you to the other end, the end that holds fulfillment and serenity.
If you hold onto the pain of your past you are limiting yourself from moving along the scale. When you carry the pain as a badge that defines you, you are limiting your inevitable growth. You are meant to grow beyond your past and beyond the pain you felt.
Acknowledge the pain. Hold yourself with love and compassion. Then see how hope can lead you forwards. Hope will allow you to transmute the pain into love.
You are made for more than your pain. Will you allow yourself to hold this truth?
The Soul Truth that you were made for more, you were made from love. Your pain keeps you limited in the human concept that your past is the only truth. Your love keeps you connected to the limitless energy of the Universe that reminds you anything is possible.”
I can see the truth more easily now.
I can see how I want to move forward.
Anytime my fear comes forward I will choose to pour love back into myself. This is what I will say to myself, “Sydney, I know you are afraid because of the pain from your past. I know those past experiences were hard. They were challenging and they caused a lot of suffering that you moved through. Guess what?! You are moving forward right now. You are creating a new story for yourself.
You have learned from those past experiences. You have become stronger, more resilient and you carry so much more faith than you once did. You are opening yourself up to receive more. You have to trust that more will come, better experiences are here for you, and when you follow your passions you attract so much more. It’s all happening for you in good, amazing, miraculous ways.
Take a deep breath. Breathe out the pain, worry and fear. Come back into your heart. Breathe in trust, faith, love and expansive energy. You are taken care of. You have transmuted the energy. You are leading yourself into a life where you have more than enough. Keep faith. Carry love. Trust your Divine Team.”
Moving through this conscious conversation brings me the peace I’ve been desiring. I feel reunited with my Spirit and I am able to see life from a bigger perspective. When I get stuck in my ego-mind I become fixated on my pain and it becomes so much harder for me to see beyond my physical reality. This is when fear of the unknown pulls me under and I can’t comprehend how I will receive my desires.
It’s not my job to logically understand how I will receive my dreams, it’s simply my job to believe and know that my dreams and desires are possible. My job is to live in this present moment, follow my passions, pour my uplifting, compassionate energy into the world around me and trust that everything else is flowing in alignment with my Soul Truths.
I see my Soul Truths when I slow down and feel into the calm, connected, centered energy of my Spirit.
“I limit my spiritual sight when I stay stuck in the logic of my ego-mind.”
I will never be able to logically explain my spiritual connection. I am not meant to logically explain it. Spiritual connection is a feeling, a knowing, not an understanding. My Soul Truths are beyond an understanding, they are an unexpected, limitless knowing. I will never be able to rationally explain or logically understand my Soul Truths. I can only feel them. When I quiet my mind, slow my body down, and find stillness, this is when the feeling flows through me.
I feel Spirit in my bones, my blood, my muscles, my breath.
I see Spirit in my third eye, my spiritual sight.
I hear Spirit in the quiet spaces, as if my Angels are speaking only to me.
I know Spirit in my entire being, as a deep grounded wisdom that effortlessly flows through me.
I fall away from the feeling, the seeing, the hearing and the knowing when I get caught up in my pain and fears. The only way I can come back to this spiritual connection is when I consciously choose to slow down. This is when I remember. This is how I feel my Soul Truths guiding me.
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I hope my self reflection and self awareness around my money mindset and the emotional pain I had been harboring inspires you to grab a journal and pen and start reflecting on your own experience. Healing on your spiritual journey includes looking into your shadows and uncovering where the fear is rooted deeply within you.
Your Spirit will always lead you from love, it’s up to you to choose to connect to that quiet, calm space within.
Until next time, sending love & light on your spiritual journey,
Sydney Smith
Founder of Adventuring with Poseidon Wellness
